Where Has The Time Gone?

My baby,

Momma has been processing for three months on how blessed I am to be yours. Three months... you have been in our arms for three months now. Where has the time gone? You make my world complete. The way you grasp my hand when you rest in my lap stops time for me. The way you look at your daddy makes my heart flutter. There are no words to describe your beauty, my girl. You are perfect.

A lot has happened since August 15th, 2019.  The day you entered our world, was such a special day for your Daddy and I. We were so anxious to have you in our arms and to finally stare into your eyes. We had no idea the trials we'd face that day, but God saw us through. Your daddy was my strength through those hard moments. While I was away, it was just the two of you for some time. Though I know he wishes that day played out differently, those sweet moments alone with you were so special for him. For that, I am so thankful. My girl, I hope you know just how much your daddy loves you. It is my most favorite to watch him love on you.

We had to stay in the hospital for a few days because momma had a hard time giving birth to you. We soon found out that we had a few more obstacles to overcome before we could bring you home. BUT GOD, saw us through. I remember that day we were dismissed to bring you home, I was so overjoyed! I couldn't wait to start life at home with you. I couldn't wait to show you off to the world! Daddy drove us home and I got to sit in the back seat with you the whole way home. I still couldn't believe you were ours! When we got home, we were surprised with balloons from your Granny and your great aunt Elaine. It was sweet.

A few days after you got home, we took you to "meet" your great-great aunt, Tia Lela. Tia Lela was like a grandma to me. I want you to know that she was so excited about you. She loved you so much, and she hadn't even met you yet. A couple days before she went to be with Jesus, someone showed her a picture of you and she blew you sweet kisses. My girl, you would have loved her. I am so sorry she didn't get to hold you. When you get a little older I will tell you stories of my sweet Tia Lela. Tia bought you the high chair you sit in. She was so excited to buy it for you. She bought it while you were still in momma's tummy because she wanted to be the first person to buy you a gift!

You are so sweet and so strong. You have the most beautiful smile, Evalynn. Your eyes light up every time you hear daddy's voice. He has taught you how to stand on his chest, but you're only three months old! You shouldn't be that strong yet! We shouldn't be surprised, you turned from your tummy to your back when you were two weeks old! So strong, and so full of life. Some of my favorite moments with you are in the morning. You are a morning girl for sure! The moment I lay you down to get you changed and ready for the day, you light up with the cutest smiles! I can never get enough of them. I take new morning pictures of you everyday! I send them to your daddy every morning and he is always so jealous when he isn't there to witness those sweet smiles himself.

In my first 3 months my relationship with God has grown so much. I have had to lean on Him every single day. It's not because of you, it is for you. I needed Jesus every day to be better for you. Every day I ask Jesus to teach me what it means to be a mom. I am nowhere close to being perfect, baby. I want to be the best I can be for you though. I promise to seek God every day going forward. I am so sorry for my short-comings as a mom. I am thankful you still love me through it.

You are finishing out your second week with Grandma and Grandpa while Momma and Daddy are at work. I can't stand being away from you for 8 hours, so your daddy made a way for me to stay home with you! Only a few more weeks before I am home with you, my girl! I cannot wait! You will still get to spend time with grandma and grandpa a few hours of the week because mommy is going back to school!!

I am dreaming of the days to come as I get to watch you grow. I have no greater dream than to get to be your momma. I love you more than I could have ever imagined, and more than I know how to express or understand.